$3 Chair Makeover

I have a little antique chair and ottoman here at Gentility that is absolutely my favorite chair in the house.  It has a wonderful little print on it, it's just the right size and the ottoman is always at my feet, even if I'm on the couch instead of the chair!  But my pretty little chair was showing her age and I needed to cover it or reupholster it before the threadbare fabric began to tear. 

Today I got out my latest Goodwill treasures (two matching king size pillow shams and a crocheted dresser runner) and decided to give my dear little chair a makeover.  The results are in the pictures below.  I am so happy with my pretty little chair!!

Hope you are inspired to do a little project to beautify your home too!

Your Daily Worship

I ran across a quote today that made me really stop and think today and wanted to share it with you.  Here is the quote from William Barclay:

“The humblest and the most unseen activity in the world can be the true worship of God. Work and worship literally become one. Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever; and man carries out that function when he does what God sent him into the world to do. Work well done rises like a hymn of praise to God. This means that the doctor on his rounds, the scientist in his laboratory, the teacher in his classroom, the musician at his music, the artist at his canvas, the shop assistant at his counter, the typist at her typewriter, the housewife in her kitchen -- all who are doing the work of the world as it should be done are joining in a great act of worship."

Paul wrote to the Romans, "Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1 NIV)

Are you discouraged in the mundane work of life? Do you finish the laundry only to find more dirty clothes to wash the next morning? Do you wonder if anyone notices the noses you wipe, the dishes you wash, the stories you read again and again, the checkbook you balance, the card you send to a sick friend?  Does it really make a difference to God, or to anyone else?

Your Father God sees and knows every act of service you perform for someone else, every tear you cry, every hug you give, every small thing you do day in and day out that seems to go unnoticed by the rest of the world.  He sees the extra time you give to a project at work so that it's done well, the pride you put into your school assignments, the love in your heart as you fold your husband's laundry.  And here, my dear, is what should make you rejoice - not only does He see and know, but all those little things you do bring Him glory!  Your love for the Savior and His love for us is reflected in your work and it is continually pointing those around you to Jesus.

Praise God that He does not require what we are unable to give. He does not need a choir. He does not need a great sermon or graceful dance. He is able to take our humble everyday tasks and use them to bring glory to Himself.  So be encouraged.  You do not work in vain.  Your work does not go unnoticed.  When you work with your whole heart as unto the Lord, whatever you do, it shouts "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" to the world.  And He is glorified.

Home Matters

This fall I'm taking a class called Home Matters.  It focuses on how to organize and rid your home of clutter, making it a beautiful and peaceful place for you and your family to enjoy.  As we go room by room through our homes, we are learning some spiritual applications along the way.  I wanted to share my home's transformation through the course of the class session with you on the blog.

Last week we concentrated on our front porch.  I finally put away an empty bubble container and a whole collection of assorted bubble wands and toys.  I also grabbed the bag of phonebooks left on the porch and put them away.  The last thing I did was to gather all the little containers of insects I had sitting in various places on the porch and combine them into one jar.  Ross and Gracie are collecting insects for an insect board for co-op, but more on that in another post!

Once I cleaned up the clutter, I started thinking about how to spruce up the area.  Our front door is navy blue and is a little scuffed and dirty after six years of going in and out, so a scrubdown and paint touchup is definitely in order.  Same goes for those faded blue shutters!  I've tried in the past to create a little seating area on my porch but still never go out there to sit.  I decided the back of the white bench out there leans back too far and isn't very comfortable so I never want to sit there.  So I am going to spruce up two of my patio chairs from the backyard (think cheap plastic stacking chairs) with some spray paint and a cushion and put them in the seating area instead.  Then I'm going to move my tea cart from the kitchen to the porch to hold outside necessities (like bubbles!) and give me a place to put my glass of wine while I'm out there reading or journaling or spending a little time chatting with my hubby.

Stay tuned for pictures!! And join me this week as we concentrate on the living room.

If you'd like to follow along with the Home Matters class, visit their blog at http://www.homemattersbecausehomematters.blogspot.com/ for summaries of the lessons and ideas from class members about what they're doing in their homes.

Pen to Paper

Last Saturday night, my hubby sent me out alone for the evening.  He told me to go do something just for me.  Without children to drive to an activity or an errand to run or a birthday gift to buy, I'll admit I was at a loss for what to do.  Finally I decided to head to my favorite store and buy myself a new journal.

I have a whole collection of journal books.  I always bring a journal to church or to Bible study to jot down notes and quotes and Scriptures in.  I write prayer requests and answers to prayer.  I have other journals I use just in my quiet times and include great quotes that are meaningful to me from books I read or an email I get.  These journals will give my children an intimate picture of their mother when I am gone and I keep that in mind as I write in them.

However, I have fallen out of the habit of writing just for pleasure.  It's been years since I've written just to record my thoughts or special events of the day, to work through my anxiety about an unknown future or recall an amazing turn of events only God could bring about.  Yes this blog has been an outlet for that type of writing.  But a journal is so much more open and honest - it's just between you and the pen.  And so I went shopping for such a journal.

As I shopped I looked for something special, something beautiful, but something that was a reflection of me - nothing uppity or too fancy, nothing too plain or practical.  Looking at all the journals though, I thought about a larger journal I had sitting at home, still empty since I bought it - too big to carry to church or Bible study.  I decided to use that journal as my every day life and thoughts journal.

Then a seed started to grow in my mind.  Why not buy a journal to write a book in? One of the items on my "bucket list" (stuff I want to do before I die) is to write a novel.  Several times I have started and gotten stuck, not consumed enough by my own story to give it any more time to write for someone else.  If I don't want to read it, why write it?

I found a beautiful composition book - white covered with green and yellow flowers.  It's a bit unusual - kinda like me - because the paper is made of stone not wood.  The paper is soft and almost velvety, like it's damp.  And my pen just glides across it.  It's truly a pleasure to write in!  And so this lovely little book will become THE BOOK that has been in my dreams, waiting in the back of my mind for the day I would sit and begin to write it out into the world.

It is not a true story, nor based on anyone's story.  To be honest, at this point even I do not know the whole story.  But tonight as I wrote, it began to tell its story to me.  It introduced me to Lizzie and Mr Roman and gave me a glimpse of little Caleb.  There are others I have yet to meet but I see them there in my mind, waiting their turn to tell their part of the story.  I cannot wait to meet them all! I am writing again! And my heart is happy.

Back to School

We started school this year earlier than ever before! Today marks day two of our fourth week and we are having so much fun this year!!  We are using an excellent curriculum package from My Father's World that combines Bible, Latin, History, Science, Art and Composer Study into one well rounded, connected study.  Our time period this year is Rome to Reformation, so we are up to our elbows in mosaics and Caesar right now.  What an amazing time in history, leading up to the birth, life and death of our Savior.  It's been so interesting to connect people and events in history with the Scripture and see the events leading up to the life of Jesus.  I can see the faith of my children growing deeper and more sure with every connection they make.

One of our favorite times together is Art.  We are using a wonderful book called God and the History of Art by Barry Stebbing.  First we are learning the foundations of good drawing - lines and circles and ellipses and shading.  I have agreed to go through the assignments with my children and it has become something I love to do outside of our class as well.  Sketching and coloring and shading are very relaxing and give my mind time to think and wander in a way that isn't allowed in my normal hectic routine.  What a gift it has been to me!  And what a lesson to my children, a reminder that a love of learning can continue to teach you things throughout your life.  Never stop learning!!

Hope your school days are starting off well.  I would love to hear your back to school stories! Do you have any traditions or special memories of going back to school?

Back to Basics with Baby

This week we started the transition from soy formula to soy milk with Georgia.  It is not going well!! She is having issues with diarrhea and diaper rash very similar to her reactions to milk based formula.  We have decided to switch back to soy formula for now and try again in another couple months.

Georgia has had little patches of excema here and there for quite a long time.  Over the past two week, the excema has spread and now covers quite a bit of her tummy and shoulders and the creases of her knees and elbows.  We are suscipious that it may be food related as it has gotten progressively worse as she has eaten more and more table food and less baby food and formula.  So in addition to going back to soy formula, we are going back to just fruits and veggies.  We will keep grains out of her diet for a week or so and watch to see how her skin reacts.  On one hand, I'm hoping to find the answer but on the other hand I want very much to be wrong about my gut instinct.  I don't know if I'm ready for a wheat allergy or other food issue!!

I have experimented a lot in making my own baby food for Georgia.  It has been much easier than I thought it would be!  Here are a few of our favorites:

Sweet potatoes - I peel and chunk them and roast them with a little olive oil in the oven, then pulse it in the food processor.  Now that Georgia has teeth, we've skipped the food processor and just feed her the chunks.

Butternut squash - I prepare this the same as sweet potatoes.  Harris Teeter sells squash in already peeled and chunked for the same price as buying it whole!

Apples - I core the apples and slice them with the peels still on, then I cook them down and pulse it in the food processor.  I make it a lot chunkier than I used to and now my other children are enjoying the applesauce with her!

Pumpkin - Until I started looking for simple homemade baby food ideas on the internet, I never thought of pumpkin!  Now we buy canned pumpkin to feed her (not pumpkin pie filling)!  It's very easy to spoon it into an ice tray, freeze the cubes then store them in a freezer bag until you are ready to serve it.

So for now, I'm back to making baby food!  Once again, this baby has me walking paths I thought were behind me and in unexpected places.  We are continuing to trust that God knows the way better than we do.

Happy Birthday Gracie!

Embracing Imperfection

Today's post is nothing fancy but it is intended to be that way.  No profound thought or deep devotional.  Not even a picture that matches the topic of the post just right!  And really, that's the point of today's post!

So many times I am paralyzed by my perfectionism.  I don't begin a project or learn to do something new because I want to wait until I can do it really well.  I put off housework if I can't do it all completely and thoroughly.  And often times, I discover that in putting off what I cannot do perfectly, I am in essence choosing to not do anything at all!

I am beginning to understand the concept of embracing imperfection.  Today I mopped my kitchen floor.  However I did not mop it by traditional definition.  There was no mop, no bucket, no scrub brush, and I didn't even get on my hands and knees.  I swept the kitchen then walked from the back of the kitchen to the front, spraying cleaner on the dirty spots and then wiping it up with a wet rag with my foot.  Some spots were fairly stubborn and I decided I will wipe away a little more of them next week, but for now I am content that they have at least been swiped over.  There was a time in my life that I would have been appalled by anyone who suggested that this method actually counted as mopping my floor.  But now I am learning that, in the words of Fly Lady, "Housework done incorrectly still blesses my family."  No I'm not flying gung ho into another system of housecleaning but I am letting some words of wisdom that I've heard many times finally begin to sink in.

Even in blogging, I find myself stopped by perfectionism.  Several times this week I have wanted to write a post about life here at Gentility, but have put it off because I can't make a spiritual connection to what is just a cute story about one of my children or because I need to make it longer or add a scripture verse to it.  I haven't entered the writing challenges on Faith Writers because, like Tiger Woods' attitude towards golf tournaments, I don't want to enter unless I think I can win.

To counteract this tendency toward perfectionism, I'm posting today about this struggle of mine.  I haven't come to any great epiphany other than realizing that I struggle with this.  I don't have a profound piece of scripture to connect to it.  I don't even have a plan of action for how to deal with it.  I've just decided to do what I can when I can for who I can for as long as I can - or something like that - it's a quote from John Wesley and if I wanted to be perfect I would look it up online and provide the link to a biography about his life when you clicked on his name.  Instead I will trust that you get the idea I'm trying to express and let go of the need to be perfect.  How about you? Do you NEED to be perfect?  Join me in embracing imperfection.  Let go of the need to do it just right and just do it!

Walking Through The Open Door With Faith

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27 NASV

Last month, in my post Open Doors I shared a journey of faith that our family has embarked on.  If you are new to Life at Gentility and haven't read about the doors God is opening, be sure to read that post before reading this one.  A few days after I posted the blog entry, I took Ross and Gracie to the local sports center for the adoption connection event I referred to in the post.  The basic idea of the event is to bring foster children who are waiting to be adoption together with prospective adoptive parents so that each can get to know the other while sharing in common activities.  Ross and Gracie rollerskated and played basketball with many different children there and I was able to hang out with several children and also speak with the social workers attending.  This particular function was for waiting children in the 10-17 yr old range.  It was a little older child than we thought would fit our family but God clearly told us I should attend and so I did.

At the end of the meeting, the social worker in charge informed us that another event would be held in April for waiting children in the 5-10 yr old range, some with older siblings.  This age range is exactly what we feel would work best in our home and it was then I knew why God had sent me there!  Tomorrow afternoon, I will be headed to the local bowling alley for that event.  This time it will be just us girls - Gracie, Amber, Georgia and Mama.  I'm walking through the open door, not knowing what is on the other side but confident in my faith that God will lead me in whatever waits for me on the other side.

Please join us in praying for our foster care ministry!  We are praying for discernment to see the path He has set before us, unity in what God places on our hearts, patience to wait for His timing, and faith to continue walking through these open doors.  As we wait to see what God will do in our own family, we are so encouraged to see many families we know begin to pursue the ministry of foster care.  We pray that God will use their families in a mighty way to further His kingdom and that He will use our family to give them the love and support they need as foster parents.

A Flood of Questions (day 11)

Ross and I made a trip to Walmart tonight, just the two of us.  On the way home, we had a discussion about Noah and the ark. I wanted to share with you just a few things we pondered:

What did Noah do with the termites and the woodpeckers?

How did the owls and bats and possums sleep during the day when everyone else was awake?

Were the pigs offended that Noah's son was named Ham?  Did they think to themselves, "You know, this might not have been such a good idea for us!"

Did the bears have to come out of hibernation to get on the ark and did it make them grumpy without their long winter nap?

When the dove went to find land and didn't come back, did the dove left behind panic and think "Oh no! I'm the only one left!"

Oh how I LOVE exploring the Bible with my children!!  I'm also thankful that my Mama taught me that the Bible is full of real stories that happened to real people, not just a bunch of fairy tales.  She knows how to make the Bible come to life!  Now I'm doing the same for my children.

What's your favorite Bible story? Have you explored it with who/what/when/where/why?  Look at it through the viewpoint of all the different characters in the story.  Think about your five senses and what each of them would have experienced if you were there when the story took place.  Now go tell your children, your grandchildren - go tell any child! - a story from the Bible and make it come alive!  Then come back and tell us about it!

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword..." Hebrews 4:12 NASV

Avoiding the Salt Shaker (day 10)

“Therefore do not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. No longer present your members to sin as instruments of wickedness but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and present your members to God as instruments of righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under the law but under grace.” Roman 6:12-14 (NIV)

“Mommy, Gracie is on the table again!” Ross called from the kitchen. Indeed, Gracie was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, happily shaking salt from its shaker and watching it fall like snow all over the table. For what was at least the fifth time that day, I retrieved Gracie from atop the kitchen table. Once again I sternly said, “No!” then swatted her little bottom and placed her on the floor. Gracie instantly dissolved into tears at my correction of her and her removal from the table, just as she had the first four times that day. Again I cleaned up the salt she had been sprinkling from the salt shaker all over the table.

I also pondered once more why she was so fascinated with the salt shaker on the table and what I could do to stop her from getting to it again. Someone had suggested I remove the salt shaker from the table and place it somewhere out of her reach. But I wanted her to learn discipline in the face of temptation. I wanted to teach her that not everything in her reach belonged to her and that some things must be left untouched by little hands. The salt shaker remained on the table, a temptation but hopefully also a lesson in the long run.

God does the same for me with sin in my life. Sometimes the temptation to sin is just too great and no matter how I try, I always end up dabbling in it a bit. When a particular thing is a great temptation to me, I pray and ask God to remove the temptation from my life. But in a sinful world, this is an impossibility. Sin is ever present not only in my life, but in the world. Instead, I need to rely on God’s grace to help me face my temptation and turn from it.

Paul tells us in Romans 6:12 to “not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies”. As Christians, we are free from the bondage of sin. It no longer has the power to control what we say or do. Paul goes on to say in verse 14 that “sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Our power comes from the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. We are to “present your members to God as instruments of righteousness” to become holy and blameless in His sight.

So what am I to do when the temptation of sin beckons me to come and join in? How do I turn from sin and choose righteousness? During those moments of temptation, when my flesh is weak, I pray that God will remind me that sin has lost its power in my life. I pray that my spirit will be strong. James 4:7 tells us to “submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” By His grace, I am no longer subject to the law. The price has been paid and I am free in Christ.

It's been a busy week here at Gentility so I haven't had as much time to write as I would like! Today's post is another blast from the past I originally wrote in 2005. Hope you enjoyed it!

Just a Moment in Time

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

This week we celebrated two firsts with Georgia - she began crawling and she cut her first tooth.  We clapped and cheered her on as she made her way across the living room floor.  Her eyes lit up with amazement at all we were doing as if to say "Wow! All this attention just for making my way over to my favorite toy!".  Her first tooth finally came after two sleepless nights of misery for her and Mommy and Daddy - poor baby!

Like any typical mother would do, I noted the date and wrote it down for her baby book.  Ask most mothers and they will remember how old their child was when they slept through the night, started baby food or took three steps in the hallway.  There is something momentous in seeing a baby do things for the first time.

Outside of raising children, there are so many other important "firsts" in our lives.  I will never forget the first time I met Michael, where we went on our first date or the details of our first kiss.  I remember driving my first car, riding my first roller coaster, and the first time I saw my name in print under something I wrote.  Firsts are beginnings, full of excitement and anticipation and the unknown.  We don't know how it's going to turn out but generally we know that the first time is just the first of many times.

In the midst of all the "firsts" in our lives, particularly in raising children, are the "lasts".  Sometimes the last time we will ever do something is just as precious as the first time we did it, but we are so busy or in such a routine that we miss the importance of the moment.  Many times we aren't even aware it's the last time.

I don't remember when Ross called me Mommy for the last time and began to only call me Mom.  I don't remember the last night I tucked Gracie into bed and she needed my kiss and our prayers before she could sleep.  Amber is learning to dress herself now and one day soon I will help her put on a shirt for the last time.  Last month I nursed Georgia for the last time.  I was very aware of what a precious thing this had been between us and I took time to cherish our last time together in such a wonderful way.  I vividly remember the last time I saw my dad before he deployed to Guantanamo Bay in November.  I play it over and over again in my mind on days like today when I miss him dearly.  And I'm eagerly waiting for the first time I see him when he comes home again in late May. 

Life is made up of many moments - some are big, some are routine, others are firsts and lasts.  I'm striving to live in the moment, to recognize the lasts as well as the firsts, and to celebrate them all.

Ten Things I Learned This Week (day 6)

On Saturdays, I plan to post the top ten things I've discovered this week.  Enjoy!

1.  Excitement is defined by the reaction of a three year old when her daddy arrives home from work.

2.  Kids' clothes tend to multiply themselves in the drawers, while Mom's clothes seem to disappear into thin air.

3.  Concentration needed for writing with four kids in the house requires headphones and Jim Brickman playing piano.

4.  When you think outside the box, one organizing technique can be adapted to fit three different children in three very different ways.

5.  It's not that hard to get back in the saddle, even if you haven't been on the horse in a long time.

6.  Reading is a great stress reliever and it's worth making time for.

7.  Starbucks really is as good as I remembered it to be...and Caribou Coffee makes a great substitute when needed.

8.  Water gun fights are worth the extra laundry.

9.  Lunch out with Daddy makes the whole rest of the day better.

10.  Only a 6 yr old girl can wear a flower print shirt, camouflage pants and pink cowboy boots and still have people say she looks "so cute".

What did you learn and discover this week?

The 30 Challenge Update

Welcome to all my new readers!  It's great to have you here!  Today is day five of The 30 Challenge and I am amazed by the response I've received to my blog.  Thank you!!

As you recall, The 30 Challenge is a personal challenge to myself to:
1.  Write for 30 consecutive days on the blog.
2.  Get 30 comments on my posts to the blog.
3.  Add 30 followers to the blog.

The response is overwhelming!  On the blog itself, I have 7 followers now.  At the request of my friend Melanie, I created a Facebook page for Life at Gentility and there are currently 52 fans following the blog there!  If you'd like to be a fan on Facebook, just click the link on the right side of the page and it will take you to my fan page.  Be sure to check in frequently - I just might use your idea for my next post!

A few of you have asked about why I instituted The 30 Challenge.  I love to write and I want to grow as a writer.  The only way to grow is to write regularly, preferably daily.  And the best way to insure I write daily is to make myself accountable to others.  Knowing there are 57 people out there waiting for today's post motivates me to make the time to write it!  Your comments help me to see what works and what doesn't, what you enjoy reading about and what's boring to you.  I love to read your responses to my writing.  But as my Daddy says, writing is a deeply personal thing and in the end, I'm the one I want most to please with it.

While you are here, check out today's post titled "The Power of the Written Word".  This is my first challenge writing assignment for Faith Writers.  What is Faith Writers?  It is an online group of Christian writers who come together to share their writing, critique each other's work, seek writing jobs and participate in classes and challenges to help us all grow as writers.  Each week a challenge topic is posted.  Writers submit their response to the topic and the editors select the best works.  Each year, these winners are featured in a book together and are also eligble for cash prizes for best overall writings of the year.  This week's challenge is "The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword".  The submitted writing does not have to contain this specific phrase but must be about the power of the written word.  So go check out my post for today and let me know why you think the pen is mightier than the sword.

The Power of the Written Word (day 5)

I have a deep, lifelong love of books.  As soon as I learned to read, I would sound out words and read everything in sight - books, signs, items on the grocery store shelves, billboards, anything!  It drove my poor Mama crazy and to this day there are certain words my family teases me about, recalling my mispronunciation of them as a child learning to read.

My love of reading naturally evolved into a love of writing as well.  Not only did I love to be swept away to the English countryside, a South American jungle, the wild West or the faraway Orient, I loved the richness of the language and the uniqueness of the dialects and vocabulary of each place the books would take me.  I wrestled with the rough Irish brogues and their halting, brash, half-spoken words as I read "Angela's Ashes".  I was swept away by the elegance and finery of the Victorian tongues in "Sense and Sensibility".  The poetic grace of Shakespeare's Juliet was a sharp contrast to the cold, uncaring Scrooge created by Dickens.  I was fascinated that words could transform into anything you wished, as long as you carefully chose them.

Throughout history, the power of the written word has changed the course of mankind.  Martin Luther forever changed Christianity and the church when he nailed "The Ninety-Five Theses" to the door of Castle Church and started the Protestant Reformation.  Thomas Paine rallied the colonists together in the cause of independence from the British throne with his pamphlet "Common Sense".  And nothing has done more to shape the face of history and the hearts of mankind than the inspired words of God given to us in the Bible.

Words have the power to convict a heart, inspire a soul and transform a mind.  With the stroke of a pen, a nation is formed, a law is declared, an imprisoned man is pardoned.  Only words can both cause deep pain and give great healing.

At the end of my time on this earth, the power of the written word will once again reveal itself for my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and this declares me righteous to a holy judge. Thanks be to God that my eternity is sealed in heaven because He has written my name!

“For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and I will write them on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Hebrews 8:10

Put on a Happy Face (day 4)

“For the Lord sees not as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Today's blog is an article I wrote four years ago and is still relevant to my life today.  I hope it's a blessing to you as well:

I recently experienced one of my most challenging days of motherhood. My children were sitting at the table having just finished their breakfast. I unbuckled Gracie from her booster seat, but got distracted doing something else and did not take her out of her seat right away. I soon found out she did not need my help after all. “Mommy!” Ross called. “Gracie is on the table!” I turned to find my little angel standing on the table, doing a little dance. She giggled and clapped her hands, very proud of her new accomplishment. “No ma’am!” I scolded as I removed her from the table.

As soon as her feet hit the floor, off she went to find adventure. I busied myself with clearing the breakfast dishes and cleaning the booster seat. After several minutes, I looked around and discovered Gracie was nowhere in sight. I began walking through the house, calling for her. I found her in my bathroom, sitting in the floor covered with a pile of 500 cotton swabs. “Oh, Gracie!” I cried. She innocently held one up to me, an offering of her treasure. I quickly gathered the swabs and put them in their place under the sink. When I looked up after completing the task, I realized Gracie had once again slipped away unnoticed. This time I did not have to go looking for her. “Mommy!” Ross called from the kitchen, “Gracie’s making a mess on the floor!”

I hurried back into the kitchen to discover my little girl sitting with legs spread on the floor, dishwasher detergent her substitute for finger paint, the kitchen tile her canvas. “Not again!” I groaned. This latest adventure involved a change of her clothes and a quick mop of the floor. Soon, order had once again been restored. In the course of thirty minutes, my world had been turned upside down three times. Each time I was caught off guard, inwardly scolding myself for not being more diligent in watching what my children were up to. I was weary and discouraged.

Later that same day, we made a trip to the library and the bank. As I presented our books for checkout at the library and as I pulled up to the window at the bank, a smile found its way to my face. It did not appear there because I was happy and cheerful. It appeared almost out of habit. In my heart, I was struggling with the stress and work that motherhood can entail. On my face, life was good and I was a mom who had everything under control.

As moms, we feel we have to put on a front to the world. Society expects us to be Supermoms – holding down a job, serving on the PTA committee, keeping a spotless house and serving a home cooked meal every night. Though each of us knows these standards are impossible to meet, we struggle to become Supermom. So when we fail or flounder, we find it hard to let down our guard and ask for help. We cannot dare to let others know, not even friends and family members, that our job is particularly hard at the moment, that we feel inadequate or unable to care for our children and our home.

This is clearly not as God intended our task to be. Motherhood can be a monumental undertaking. At times it can test our patience, push our endurance and make us question our sanity. But in the quiet times, the reward of our labor is abundant. God has blessed us with precious gifts. These gifts are meant to bring joy into our lives, not stress and heartache.

When we do struggle, God wants us to reach out to each other, encourage and build one another up. Titus 2:3-5 instructs older women to “teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited”. We are designed by God to thrive on relationships with others. He does not expect us to go through life alone, but encourages us to help each other along the way.

To ask for help is to reveal your heart to another. When you admit you are struggling, that life is not as perfect as it appears from the outside, you are humbling yourself and letting go of your pride. Our verse in 1 Samuel 16 reminds us that “the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart”. Even if we are successful in fooling the world, we cannot fool God. He knows our hurts and struggles. He feels our failures and inadequacies. He desires for us to reveal these to each other and bear one another up in love.

Tomorrow as you go about your daily routine, ask yourself if you have put on a happy face. Do you smile just for show? Or does the joy of the task set before you by God put it there? If you cannot honestly smile, reach out to someone. And if you see another who is struggling, take the time to show her the love of Christ.
Lord Jesus, I pray that Your hand would be upon my children. I pray that You would give me a joy unspeakable for the task of equipping and training them to live their lives for You. Place godly women in my life to encourage and assist me in times of struggle. Reveal women in my life that need my encouragement and assistance. Help me to remember that I am Your child and can do nothing without You.

Fill My Cup Lord (day 3)

This post is dedicated to a dear friend and teacher affectionately known as Mama Jean.  The teachings of this 91-year old lady over the course of last year inspired today's writings.  Many of these ideas were things she taught and many others are things I learned as a result of her teaching.  May the Lord bless you with many more years of teaching, Mama Jean!

One of my favorite days of the week is Thursday because at our house, Thursday morning means Morning Grace.  Georgia and Amber go to a nursery class and play with other little ones their age.  Gracie goes to her homeschool class and learns lots of wonderful things under the care and watch of Ms. Lovey.  Ross is also in a homeschool class learning about the book of Leviticus and the customs and ceremonies of the Israelite priests with Mrs. Ashe.  And I get a few hours reprieve from being wife and mom to just be a daughter of God, refreshing my spirit, worshipping my Savior and learning how to have a closer walk with Him.

Mama Jean has been my teacher at Morning Grace for most of the time I've been there. Last year she taught a class called "Fill My Cup Lord". Using a teacup or coffee mug as a symbol of our hearts, we talked about all the things that we in our cups that prevented us from being filled with all God had for us - a heart full of bitterness or unforgiveness or anger or fear, stains in our cups that represented past sins we had not confessed, cracks and chips representing hurts and trials we had been through. Sometimes our hearts are shattered and God has to form a new cup, molding and shaping us through the trail into something even more like His image. Once our cups are empty of ourselves, there is room for God to fill us with more of Him. We can have joy overflowing, peace that passes understanding, strength for each new day.

As we discussed these things in our class, I thought of my teacup collection at home. My mama started buying me Old Country Roses teacups, saucers and other matching dishes when Ross was born. My demitasse teacups are very small and delicate. They are very beautiful to look at and look lovely on my table set for tea, but most people are hesitant to use them because they are afraid they might break.

When I first became a Christian, my "cup" (my heart) was a lot like that demitasse teacup. It was pretty to look at and others were impressed by it - "Oh you are such a good Christian lady" - but it was delicate and easily broken. The first little trial I faced left it chipped and cracked and not as pretty as it had once been. It was also small and with so much of me still filling the cup, there was not much room for God to lead and direct me. He needed more of me than a little demitasse teacup could hold. And so He broke me - not because I was not good enough, but because He loved me enough to make me something better, something He could use in a mightier way. Through many years of teaching and guiding and disciplining me, through many trials and hurts and disappointments, my cup has changed.

Today my cup better resembles an old stoneware coffee mug. It's nothing pretty to look at, but I'm less concerned now with how others see me and more concerned about how God sees me. It's not as delicate as before, but its strength makes it easier to walk through the storms of life. The biggest change though is in its size. The tiny little teacup has been replaced by a cup that is deep and wide, able to be filled with the things God has for me. My Christianity is no longer something to occasionally put on display in order to impress others. It is a faith that I live out everyday.


What does your cup look like? Whether your heart resembles a delicate teacup or a sturdy coffee mug, we can all be used by God if we will surrender to Him. All He asks is that we allow Him to fill our cup.

Learn Something New Everyday (day 2)

"And do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" Romans 12:2

It's no secret that I'm a homeschooling mama.  My days are typically filled with workbooks, science experiments and art projects.  I'm always looking for ways to make learning fun for my children.  I want them to love to learn and to continue learning into adulthood.

I remember as a teenager counting down the days when I would be finished with school and learning.  One day, I thought, I'll be an adult in the real world and there will be no more reading and memorizing and testing what I know!  Little did I know then, learning is a lifetime experience.  Every day is a new opportunity to discover something, to gain a new skill, to learn!  The question is, are you seizing the opportunity?

One of the greatest unexpected benefits of homeschooling my children has been rediscovering my own joy of learning.  Together we immerse ourselves in the history of our country, the creation of our planet, the structure of our language.  And I find myself often saying, "I didn't know that!"  In addition to the new things I'm learning as I teach my children, I'm making it a priority to learn new things for myself.  Some things I've learned have helped me to manage my house better, like making homemade baby food and laundry detergent, planting a garden for the first time, taking up the challenge of perfecting lemon pound cake or painting our bathroom.  Other things I've learned have helped me to be a better teacher by helping me to understand learning styles, giving me new ideas for organizing lesson plans or introducing me to a new method of homeschooling.  In my own personal interests, I've learned to quilt and am constantly reading a new Bible study or book meant to teach and encourage wives, mothers or women in general.  Since starting this blog I've learned how to set up a website template, how to insert "click here" to lead people to a different web address without typing it out and today I learned how to set up a Facebook page for my blog and then set up the blog to allow readers to "become a fan".

All around us are new avenues waiting to be explored, new worlds we have yet to know, if only we will take the time to pursue them. So what's stopping you?  Make it a priority to learn something new everyday.  Get excited about learning again.  Who knows, you might discover a hidden talent or find a wonderful new hobby.

What have you learned recently?  Are you in the process of learning something new right now?  Be sure to leave a comment and share it with us!

The 30 Challenge

For as long as I can remember, I've loved to write.  I have poetry books I wrote in elementary school that my parents saved for me.  I have a file in my desk drawer of devotionals and other writings, some that have been published on various websites.  I've been paid to write on a few occasions.  I even have a magazine and a book on my bookshelf, both containing published writing with my name on it.  So it was only natural for me to begin to write a blog.  My blog gives me a chance to share with others what God is doing in my life and gives a glimpse of our family's adventures in parenting, homeschooling and whatever else I've dreamed up for us to do.  Writing is an outlet for me - a great stress reliever - but lately it has been something that is at the bottom of my priority list.  When I do get a chance to write, I feel almost like I'm talking to myself on the blog.  I don't have many followers and I don't get many comments.  This discourages me from writing more often and so the cycle continues.

And so, I am presenting myself with a challenge - 30 posts in 30 days with 30 followers and 30 comments.  Beginning today and running through May 5th, I am commiting to writing on my blog each day.  I am also going to promote my blog to as many people as possible and make a goal of having 30 followers at the end of the 30 days.  I currently have 4 - thank you to my followers!!  AND, so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself, I am going to encourage more comments so that by the end of the 30 days, I have at least 30 new comments on my blog.  My hope is that by the end of the 30 days, I will feel energized to continue writing more often.  The big dream is that I will once again be able to write for a paycheck and contribute to our family budget.

So whether you've enjoyed my blog in the past, or you've just found my blog, and you like what you see, please become a follower! This will alert you to new blog posts automatically.  Tell your friends to check it out too!  Follow along and see how I do in the next 30 days.  And as always, comments are welcome!

Lessons from "Little House in the Big Woods" (day 1)

Today the girls and I sat down and read a chapter from "Little House in the Big Woods".  I have always intended to read through as many of the books in the Little House series as possible with the girls, but time and other commitments have kept me from it.  At Gracie's urgings, we finally sat down today and began to read.  We had actually started this book some time over the summer so instead of starting at the beginning, we simply picked up where we left off.

First we read about Laura and Mary helping Ma with the chores through the week.  Each day Ma would have a different chore she would focus on.  We reviewed the days of the week and talked about routines in our house.  The book described in great detail how Ma would churn the butter and how she used carrot in the winter to make the butter yellow so it would look pretty.  The girls were fascinated that you could make butter by yourself so we decided to try it.  I poured some heavy cream into a mason jar and screwed the lid on tight.  We took turns shaking it until it became so thick it wouldn't shake anymore.  Then we took off the lid and sampled our creation.  We all agreed that as yummy as our butter was, it was a lot of work and we are thankful we can go buy ours at the store!

After chores, Ma would sometimes cut out paper dolls and bits of colored paper.  Then Mary and Laura would sit together and dress the dolls and pretend.  So I found a set of paper dolls online, printed them out (complete with several outfits and hairdos) and we started coloring them and cutting them out.  Now they each have a paper doll and lots of clothes to dress it with, just like Mary and Laura.

At the end of the chapter, Pa told the girls a story about Grandpa and the panther.  We talked a little bit about panthers and that was the end of our lesson (and their attention spans).  We are all looking forward to reading together again tomorrow!

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

March is a peculiar time of year for our family as homeschoolers.  At this point in the school year, I find myself looking back at what each child has learned, how much curriculum we've covered and what he/she has accomplished.  I also look ahead and make goals for the coming school year and plans for summer break.  I breathe a sigh of relief that the long winter cooped up indoors with rambunctious children is finally giving way to the warm weather and the chance to burn up energy running and playing outdoors out from underneath Mama's feet.  It's a time of year in which I constantly find myself looking behind and ahead, but often missing the present moment and enjoying what it has to offer or teach me.

It reminds me of the poem "To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest, with the Plough" by Robert Burns.  Burns is a Scottsman from 1785.  He wrote the poem, as the title suggests, when he was plowing his fields and inadvertently overturned a mouse's winter nest in the process.  Toward the end of the poem is the famous line: "The best laid schemes of mice and men go often askew, and leave us nothing but grief and pain, for promised joy!"  In other words, no matter how well we plan, sometimes we can destroy the plans of others by our actions.  The poet observed that the mouse was the lucky one, as he lived in the moment, while the poet was looking to sad events of the past and the uncertainty of the future and was unable to enjoy the present.  You can read the poem and an excellent explanation of the meaning behind it here.

This poem challenges me in this peculiar season of homeschooling.  As I look back on our accomplishments in this school year (and our shortcomings!) and plan new goals for the coming months, I am purposing to stay in the moment.  I don't want to miss the wonder on Glorie's face when she watches the mockingbird carrying a stick to its nest.  I want to enjoy the pride on Grace's face when she recognizes a word and can read it to me.  I will be there to cheer Georgia on as she begins to crawl across the floor.  I plan to celebrate with Gilbert when he finishes his first long novel.

There is a time and a purpose in reviewing where I've been and planning for where I am going.  I intend to enjoy the journey along the way!

Open Doors

The past few weeks have been filled with faith and promise.  As you know, Michael and I are licensed foster parents.  We have not had a placement in almost three years.  However, we have been very busy with two new babies, an ill grandmother, homeschooling and just life in general!  Recently Michael and I spent a day alone together and talked about where we want to go from here as a family.  Eventually foster care came into the conversation and we decided to begin praying for God to direct us as to where to go next, or whether to go anywhere at all - perhaps God has finished our work in this area!  And so we began to pray.

First we prayed for God's provision.  We needed a bed for a child to sleep in and clothes for him to wear.  (Yes HIM - we have as many girls as we can hold in our little house!)  So we prayed and we waited.  A week later, God provided a loft bed and mattress through Freecycle.  We saw this as confirmation that God wanted us to continue with foster care and continued to wait on Him to provide.

It's been a few weeks longer now and we continue to see God pave the way before us.  I found a large bag of boy's clothes in the attic that I was sure I had given away.  We were invited to a DSS sponsored function that normally we would have never heard about.  All around us we see confirmations from God, leading us and showing us the way, even if it is just the next step.

And so we stand before an open door.  Our hearts are full of excitement and anticipation as we imagine what God may have in store for us beyond this door.  Will we begin fostering again?  Does God have a child in mind that will become a permanent part of our family? Or is He planning to continue to use us to minister to those actively fostering? 

If I am honest, there is also a feeling of inadequacy and wondering at the unknowns.  How do we add yet another child when our schedule (and our home) already seems to be bursting at the seams?  How would another child in our home (temporary or permanent) affect our children?  I need so much grace and patience from my Heavenly Father every day just to love and nurture and teach and mold the lives of the four beautiful children He's given us. How much more grace and patience will I need if we add another child to the picture?  Are we crazy to even be considering this?!?  What about school? And clothes? And time for each child?  How will we find him? How will he respond to us? What if this is not the beginning of another journey for us but the end of a journey we've been on the past four years? Am I ready to close the door and leave this ministry behind if that's what God calls me to do?

I am very aware of my dependence on God to care for my children in a way that honors Him and even more aware of how much more I will need Him if we expand our hearts to include another child.  I see so many areas of my life that need major work and change, so many weaknesses.  I do not know how the details will work out.  But there are things that I know to be true.  Praise God that He is faithful!  His grace is more than enough, it will never run out.  His mercies are new every morning.  He will bring to completion that which He calls us to do.

I do not know what lies beyond this open door, where it will take us, how long it will be before we walk through it.  This I know, and this truth sustains me - God is here with me on this side of the door and He will be with me every step of the way beyond it.  I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds my future and I am putting my trust in Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Old is New Again in 2010

In my last post I shared with you my dream for transforming my modern day cookie cutter suburban home into an old fashioned farmhouse that looks like it's been here for 100 years.  I also gave my home a name, Gentility.

Now that we have a focus here at Gentility the work can begin!  First on the agenda is a major PURGE!  I realized as I put away my everyday living room decor to make room for Christmas decorations that most of what is on display in my home is not meaningful to me.  It's just there because it's always been there.  So as I pack up the Christmas decorations, keeping only what I LOVE of course, I will also only return decor to the living room that is meaningful to me.  Our church is having a fundraising yard sale in a few weeks so this will be my motivation to work quickly, purge the clutter from Gentility and help a good cause at the same time!

I also shared in my last post my love of things with a soul.  I received a few wonderful gifts this Christmas to add to Gentility that definitely have a soul and a story to tell.  I received an old family photo, an old print to hang on the wall and a china platter.  The stories of these pieces will be shared as I find homes for them here at Gentility.  For now they have been tucked away so escape the great purge!

Once the purge is complete, the redecorating will begin!  I will be doing most of the work myself with occasional assistance from my sweet husband or my children.  I am excited to see the new face of Gentility.  Won't you come along with me for the journey?  Stay tuned for pictures to show our progress.